If there's anything I hate more than small talk it's when everyday life becomes mundane. This perturbs me to NO end, making me even more melancholy. During the past few months, it has been increasingly challenging to keep myself actively engaged in everyday life. What's so frustrating is that when I had a daily routine, I was upset because I didn't have time to do the other things I wanted to do. I felt like there was so much I was missing; if I could just move some things around...Why is it that now that I have all the time in the world, I'm not able to find one single thing to do?!
The answer to that question is the many years of social programming we have been subjected to that teaches us that there is no value in a day that doesn't include work. Every other activity in our lives has been ostracized and categorized as EXTRA; in other words, UNNECESSARY. In turn, we automatically develop an aversion, to the point of guilt to any such thing. The status quo would lead us to believe that there is nothing more necessary in life than having a job and making money. If Quarantine has taught us anything, it's that LIVING is our most important priority. Our days are to be filled with stimulation for our minds. We should be able to bring the things that make us happiest IMMEDIATELY to mind. We shouldn't have to ponder it. This is the life I want, and have come to EXPECT. I no longer want the burden imposed on me by outside forces to believe and embrace the idea that work is the only form of "beneficial" productivity. I'm going to de-program myself! NO MORE!! I will use my time to discover new things about myself, and enrich my happiness bank. I spend so much time making withdrawals just to get by on a daily, I never stopped to realize how dangerously low and depleted my balance had become.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking charge of your life in pursuit of what sets your should on fire. Moreover, you should never be made to feel guilty for loving yourself, and the life you choose to build. Give yourself a reason to smile everyday. You absolutely deserve to know PRECISELY what that feels like. We are not machines, therefore, you should not be putting the pressure on yourself to perform systematically day in and day out. Anything that brings you joy is ESSENTIAL to your existence, and necessary to your survival. Use this time to become devastatingly fabulous, and NEVER look back.~The Queen
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